Thursday, 19 July 2012

Dealing with fear and failure

         My experience on fear and failure

This post is not going to be my regular fashion related updates, or on how to and style but this post is focussed on the daily struggles of life and my personal experiences on how to deal with fear and failure.Firstly, I will start by saying that my approach on this topic will be come from a religious and inspirational point of view.

On the 27th of April 2011, was the beginning of my final exams in high school, the first paper of that exam was  Mathematics.I have always had a bitter-sweet feeling about this subject, it was a subject that made my parents employ tutors for me, it was a subject that kept me awake all night with the determination to succeed, it was a daredevil subject to me, if  I am to exaggerate, I would say that this subject literally held my self-confidence.I had done pretty well in this subject before my final year at high school but I started to fail in the subject and this began to destroy my self-confidence. I always had a competitive spirit even though it  could be fashioned towards irrelevant matters or petty girly beefs but for me to be failing in a key subject in the school became a major concern for me.My then mathematics tutor, who was  my personal tutor was a pastor and a strong believer in the word of God.Although, he was a pastor, he wasn't the best motivator or adviser, he often used negative force on me and this brought me into tears and doubt of his support.At that point in my life, I was not a great Christian or enthusiastic lover of the bible.I was just an average teenage girl who desired to do what others were doing and to be in a steady relationship with my ex-boyfriend. However, my tutor was aware of my failure and advised me, to pray and fast about my problem in Mathematics, so that I do not fail my final exams. As I mentioned above, I was not the best Christian so I found this a bit extreme and had feared for the worse but regarding my Sunday attendance to church. I had heard, seen and noticed  the power of God and I had a feeling that he would help me with this problem.Therefore, I decided to pray and fast for him to show me mercy, my other Christian tutor who lectured me in accounting had told me to have faith and trust in God, but it wasn't as easy as they said. Sometimes, I heard voices in my head telling me that I will not succeed and telling me that I would chicken out like before.Other times, i felt the cold hands of fear in my heart and the irritating voice of doubt.I went to my tutor for advise on these voices and he told me that fear is not of God.He reassured me that Jesus Christ will only want me to trust and have faith in him. He told me to recite this verse in faith whenever the evil one came with his tricks of fear and doubt,''2Timothy1:7- The spirit God gives me is not timid, instead his spirit gives me power, love,faith and self-control''.This verse helped me to overcome the fear of failure, it helped to realise that I was not alone in this journey of life and made me accept the priceless and free love that God offers to us all.On the day of my final exams, I was studying and reassuring myself that God will help me, as I walked into the examination hall, the examiners ushered us to our various seats and gave us the paper to start the exam.As I looked into the paper,fear gripped my heart and my hands were sweaty and shaky, the spirit of fear had come to overcome me but I remembered that verse and I recited it in my mind. My heart echoed ''Lord, help me''. At that moment, I began to solve equations that would have scared me and I finished the paper before the time.This was my own personal experience with fear and how God  had rescued me from failing my final exams.

In conclusion, I advice that the readers of this blog should not allow the fear of striking to prevent you from being in the game.I recommend that if you are scared or afraid of failure or you are on any kind of pressure, go to a reputable elder to advice you, go to your pastor, go to your priest, go to your Imam or any  spiritual confidant that will help you from the pit of fear.When you are advised, pray in faith to God for help in your struggle and I assure you that he is listening to you,he will answer your prayers.Do not be overconfident to feel that you could tackle fear on your own or be under confident to think that there is no remedy, bear in mind that you are not alone in this world and that you will be rescued.Finally, If you have taken these actions, be certain that fear will not overcome you.


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